I'll Be
by HeidiMay
Summary: Sometimes I like to think 'It won't happen tonight'. Usually, I'm wrong. Usually, I wake up sore and unworthy. Usually, I remember no one can help me. But unusually, I think I've met someone who finally could: A Nick Jonas FanFic. Previously 'Bruised'.
1. Introduction

Introduction:

I gazed out the window, looking for someone to understand me. I gazed out the window, wanting someone to try and figure me out. I gazed out the window, staring at the man in my backyard. The man that pretends he has everything. The man everyone loves. The man that has a secret. That man looked up at me. He smiled. He waved. He patted his friends on their shoulders and pointed, 'That's my daughter,' he mouthed. They smiled and waved at me, I plastered on a grin and waved back. They turned back to my father. His menacing eyes glanced up, as his brows furrowed, furious and drunk.

I quickly moved from the window to my bed. I sat with my head in my hands. I knew what was coming. I knew I had no where to go. I had to stay and take it. Because no one could defend me. No one could make sure I was safe. They would get hurt too. I was fragile, I could only depend on me, and I hated myself. I ran to my bathroom - an impulse reaction.

I locked the door, contorting myself into the corner. Moving my long sleeve upward to expose the cold, beaten flesh, I looked long and hard. It was a good thing I didn't bruise easily. Wincing, I heard cars leave, people calling their goodbyes, and a door slam. Thick, heavy footsteps laced with anger echoed through the halls into my room. Slam. Another door. A malicious pounding on my fortress. A cruel voice and drunken words. A razor. A small deliberation. A door that fell to the ground. An anger that couldn't be let go any other way. Another blood coating in my hair, another shirt I couldn't wear, and a hole in the wall that let in the breeze. A hole that was burned permanently into the wall as another vivid image of my father's rage was burned into my mind. I cried. I wanted my brother to be home. I wanted my mother to be alive. I wanted to be safe.

But I wasn't safe. I wasn't safe anywhere. I didn't feel safe with anyone.

And then I met him.

**So I wrote the introductio****n like a vignette, not exactly sure why? But the rest of the story won't be in this format, unless you want it to be. **

**Hopefully you come back for moreeee! (:**


	2. Chapter 1

**Hoorayyy. Just to be clear again - the rest of the story is NOT in vignettes. I'm all jumpy and excited to write this. Haha, I'm such a nerd. **

**Alright here we go! (:**

--

I hated working, especially having to answer to irritating clientele. I had only started three weeks ago, but I already came to the conclusion that Hollywood Records was dull - washed up popstars walking in and out, incoming losers who, for the most part, had no talent, and divas demanding water. Usually, I'm busy finishing an assignment for school instead of filing or making phone calls. Like right now for example, I'm sitting here, somewhat focusing on _The Taming of the Shrew _for english, while stealing glances every ten seconds at the digital time waiting for 7 o'clock. 4:22, only two and a half hours to go. Fabulous.

"Carrie, what time do you leave?" I highlighted a line with blatant sexism in the play, and swiveled my chair to face the other receptionist.

"I'm off at 8, why?" Carrie threw her red hair over her shoulder, and turned her deep blue eyes to me, batting her dark brown lashes. She sported a navy blazer and a matching high-waisted skirt, with a white peasant blouse. Her black patent pumps were shining in the fluorescent light. I decided Carrie was absolutely stunning a long time ago.

"Just making sure I don't have to close up," I smiled at her, as she scoffed and turned back to her computer.

_I hear Jerusalem bells a-ringing_

_Roman Calvary choirs are singing_

_Be my mirror my sword my shield_

_My missionaries in a foreign field_

"Shit," I muttered absently, grabbing my obnoxiously loud phone from the desk. Smiling a fake smile at the people in the lobby, I answered quietly.

"Hello?" I asked, the irritation seeping through in my voice. A woman dressed in a deep purple silk dress with a black lace trim glared. The dress only went to her mid-thigh, and she only covered herself with something that looked like a robe. I wonder if she knows that you aren't supposed to wear lingerie in public.

"Tegan, do you know where I left the carkeys?" My sixteen year old twin brother Cooper sounded like he was panicking. I rolled my eyes.

"Cooper, I took the car to work, remember?" My brother and I were an odd pairing for twins. Both the same dark brown hair, and the same tanned skin, but while I had light green eyes, Cooper's were a deep brown. Cooper was also much taller than me, I was a measly 5'2", he stood at 5'10". I inherited from my mother.

"Are you kidding me? Damnit, I need the car tonight Tay, I told you that, remember?" I could hear him running his hands in a stiff movement through his hair.

"Well, I told _you _that I needed it to go to work, remember?" I answered mockingly,

"Look, I have a party tonight and I would really appreciate it if you drove over here and let me take it," Cooper was trying to reason patiently.

"Okay buddy, I get off at 7, and if you can wait until then it's a deal. But I don't know why you need to go to a party tonight anyway..." Stay home. Please, please stay home.

"Because dad's having one right now," He paused as he said 'dad', and I gaped in response. "You can come with me if you want..." He trailed off, knowing my answer.

"I can't, I have an AP exam tomorrow. But I-I'll be there by 7:30, is Emily still home?" a lump rose in my throat - Cooper, please stay home. Make sure she's okay.

"No, I walked her to her friend's a while ago. Tay, just consider coming with me tonight, okay? I'll see you later," the line went dead.

I sat in my chair, turning it repeatedly, putting pressure on the ground as I increased my speed. I was so worried about my seven year old sister, who was the spitting image of me, except she had my brother's eyes. I wished I could spin around in my chair long enough so when I jumped out I'd have woken in an alternate universe where fathers don't exist, or where my mother still did. The chair slowed to a stop, and I stayed hugging my knees to my chest, my forehead pressed against my kneecaps. I felt eyes on me, Carrie's no doubt, as I heard her chuckle a little. I sat consumed in my thoughts.

"Um, excuse me?" A deep boyish voice asked, concerned. I grunted in response, without looking up. Can't you see I'm busy?

"Hello?" Another voice came, rough, but gentle at the same time, "Is she sleeping...?" I heard one of them swing their arms onto counter of the desk. I felt as if their eyes were carving holes in me. I finally looked up, to meet three pairs of dark eyes, two hazel, one a deep brown. I glanced back at the clock. It had been an hour - was I sleeping?

"Can I help you with something?" I asked, shifting my gaze to each of their faces, my eyes lingering on the one with the full curls. I gave them names in my head, the curly hair was Curly, the wavy hair was Handsome, and the oldest looking was Pretty. I glared a little, before brushing my clammy hands on my black skinny jeans and straightening my cream colored blouse as I turned to face them.

"We have an appointment with James Gilcrest," Pretty smiled at me politely. I smiled my signature fake smile, and nodded. They seemed pleasant enough.

"That's cool, Carrie here can do the honors - Carrie?" I nodded at her. She turned back to me, glaring, but looked up and instantly smiled.

"Boys! It's great finally meeting you, I'm Carrie, and I think we spoke on the phone a few times," Wow, I don't think in the three weeks I've worked here Carrie has had that much pep or enthusiasm. Maybe it's because they're all amazing looking.

They nodded and smiled at her, each greeting her kindly. Curly, had wandering eyes that managed to find their way to me. He gave me a warm smile. I gave him a fake one and turned my gaze to my cell phone, flipping it open and closed.

"Who's that?" I heard one of them ask, Handsome, most likely.

"Tegan," I answered for myself, Carrie staring, shocked I said anything at all - I've never been one to speak for myself. "I'm Tegan Mitchell," I nodded at them, and for the second time, played with my phone nervously. Curly stood in front of me, leaning over the desk, "Nick," he smiled.

"No, I just told you my name is Tegan. Thanks for playing," I gave him a thumbs up, and flipped open my phone, texting Cooper. **Want me to leave early? **I hit send.

Curly laughed, and turned to his brothers, before watching me again. "No, I meant, _my_ name is Nick," I'm not that stupid, Curly, really. He pointed to Handsome, "and this is Joe," now he pointed to Pretty, "and Kevin." I raised my eyebrows with fake enthusiasm.

"Neat-o. Are you guys in a band?" I had to show interest, it was a rule.

"We're," 'Joe' looked around, almost shocked, "the Jonas Brothers?" 'Nick' and 'Kevin' both chuckled a little, as I sat, now realizing I knew a few of their songs.

"Mm, well that's pretty cool," I felt my phone vibrate in my hands, and flipped it open.

**Yeah, right now would be good. **

I looked at the clock, it was about 5:45, I could manage that.

"Well, I need to leave, but it was nice meeting you. Carrie, cover for me?" I picked up my black leather jacket and turquoise clutch. She scoffed jokingly, and nodded. I smiled a thanks, and walked out of the lobby, feeling four pairs of eyes watching me go.

--

"Hello?" I called out, twisting the doorknob, as I walked into the house. The smell of smoke and beer found its way into my lungs, burning my nostrils. I could hear my father telling obnoxious jokes with his obnoxious friends laughing their obnoxious laughs. I gagged.

"Cooper?" I called a little louder than before, still I heard no answer. I threw my keys in my clutch and made my way to the stairs. As I slowly climbed the stairs the loud noises coming from outside grew fainter, and I walked straight to Cooper's door. I knocked a few times, and heard a grumbling noise. I laughed.

"Coop, I'm home, get up," I walked in to find my brother laying face down in his pillow. I slapped the back of his head, "Come on, I didn't take off for you to sleep, hurry up and take the car." He opened his eyes, confused. "Are you not coming with me?" I shook my head, and patted his, then gesturing to the door for him to leave.

"Have fun, trouble maker," I smiled up at him as he stood, and gave me a hug with one hand.

"Thanks, Tay. Just - just make sure your door stays closed, alright?" I nodded, fully understanding, and watched him walk down the stairs and out of the house, before opening the door to my room. It was times like this that made me wonder if my brother cared as much about me as he claimed he did - would he really leave at times like this if he had? I shook the thought from my mind, and obeyed him, closing the door behind me.

--

**SO LAME SO LAME. I hope it gets better after this, only time will tell with my writing skills (or lack of, ha ha). **

**Review (: **


	3. Chapter 2

**It's really pathetic, but, I've had writers block since the first chapter. I started this story on a whim, and I'm not particularly sure where I'm going to take it. Oh well, here we are!**

* * *

"Tegan?" I felt large hands gently wrapped around my shoulders, rocking me, "Come on, wake up, Tay." I heard Cooper sigh softly as he sat at the edge of my bed.

"Go away," I muttered, burying my face in my pillow. He patted my back, urging me to wake up. Damnit, I'm trying to sleep. I crushed the feather-stuffed pillow between my hands as I turned onto my back, facing my brother. "What?" I stared coldly.

"I was just wondering how last night was," He folded his hands in his lap awkwardly and turned his brown-eyed gaze to the ground. I let out a sigh of annoyance - like he really needed to ask.

"Oh it was amazing, we all sat around and got along like a couple of girlfriends!" I rolled my eyes. I didn't need his constant sympathy at the moment, _he _chose to leave me unguarded. I threw the covers off me, to prove my frustration further, and pulled open my closet. As I rummaged through the array of fabrics, I decided on a blue tank top and white skinny jeans. I turned back around to walk to my bathroom, eyeing my brother as I made my way past him. He sat in the same position, only now wearing a face that looked more guilty than usual. Good.

I peeled off my pajamas carefully, my limbs were a little sore - being kicked around doesn't exactly feel great the next day. I pulled my legs through my jeans, bringing them up slowly. I put on my tank top - it brushed the back of my forearm, sending a dull pain through my body. I ignored it and walked out, dirty clothes at hand. Tossing them into the hamper, I stared at my brother, sitting beside him.

I put my arm around him - seeing Cooper _this _guilty was starting to make me feel guilty. That's not fair right? Maybe that's just me. "Hey, it's not your fault, Coop. I'm dealing with it on my own," I playfully punched his shoulder and sat up, grabbing my white pumps.

"T-Tegan..." I could hear worry in his voice, I turned to face him once I pulled my shoes on. "C-Cooper..." I mocked him a little. His eyebrows came together - apparently it was the wrong time for jokes.

"Tegan Marie, what happened?" He pulled me to stand in front of my mirror, and lifted my left arm. I grimaced a little, finally seeing what he saw. I had a bruise - my first in years - a bruise in shape of my father's fist. Of course, to any other person it would just look like an odd-shaped oval, but I had seen that image too much and too vividly not to know.

"I... I wouldn't be able to tell you," I replied timidly, not because I didn't want to - because I couldn't. I was beaten to the point where I was unconscious in my own bed. Never to the point where I bled - he's sober enough to know _that _would be considered bad parenting.

"Shit, Tegan, this is too much. You know how rare it is for you to bruise - you _know._" I traced my fingers over the mark. I nodded my head - Cooper was right, I did know. But I could deal with this. I only had two more years at home - maybe less if I could figure out a way...

My brother brushed past me, before I caught his arm. "Cooper no, I can handle this, just... just let me for a while, okay?" I looked up at him, desperation I'm sure was obvious in my eyes.

"Just let you what, Tegan? Just let you _what_? What am I supposed to wait for - until your beaten to death? Until he moves on to _Emily_?" I shook my head, shuddering a little. He'd never move onto Emily, she resembled my mother too much. I couldn't let my dad's entire life go down the drain. Maybe he needs to take out his anger sometimes, and he doesn't know how. He's provided so much for my brother and sister, and mom - when she was alive. What's wrong with paying for everyone else's debts?

"Just wait, Cooper. Just wait," I pleaded with him, before he pulled his arm away, disgusted.

"I'm taking you to work," he said through gritted teeth, before walking out the door. Tears were stinging at my eyes, and I wasn't going to let them fall out. Tears meant weakness, and weak I was not. I grabbed a white blazer from my closet before following close behind my brother, reading the time on the analog clock at the end of my hall as 11:11.

Make a wish.

--

"_Carrie_!" I sang out happily, putting on my bubbly personality. After the silence that seemed to last four hundred times longer than fifteen minutes with my brother, I knew that I couldn't show any signs of fatigue - I needed to stay sharp. She cocked her head at me, confused.

"What...?" She stretched out, before glancing quickly at her watch, then back to me.

"Nothing, sheesh. Can't a girl be glad to be at work?" I pouted at her, before settling my purse next to my receptionists' desk and sat.

"Yeah, but you've never been that girl," she smirked at me and turned to her computer. I glared at the back of her head. Screw you, Carrie - you could at least play along for ten seconds. I turned to face my Mac computer, reading through my emails. Wow, really? Nothing to file, no phone calls to make - damn, I'm going to be bored. I clicked on my dashboard and played a game of snake for what seemed like hours. High score 78. Woohoo.

"Well, we meet again," a familiar voice commented, ruining my focus. "Mm..." I kept my gaze on the computer screen - come on, I'm about to break a record.

"Hello?" A fair hand waved in front of my face. I let out an exasperated sigh, quitting my game and finally looking up into a full head of curls - yet again.

"Hey there, Curly," I smiled at him.

I watched his eyebrows raise at me, "What was my name?" His eyes smiled at me. Oh, shit. I forgot that was a_ personal _nickname.

"Um, what?" I bit my lip. "I didn't say anything," I looked back to my computer, pretending to be distracted.

He laughed now, "Alright, well, _Tegan_, I was wondering if you could point me in the direction of the bathrooms? My brother's a little anxious, if you know what I mean." He cocked his head toward the waiting area, where a little boy no older than eight or nine sat, squirming in the chair. I smiled at him - so cute. A sudden thought hit me; Curly was as blind as he was handsome.

"Well, _Nick_, apparently you didn't notice the 'Mens' sign about ten feet away from where your brother's sitting... right now." I grinned at him, a blush creeping over his face. After a few seconds his face flushed back to it's original fair color and a smirk appeared.

"Yeah, I noticed - I just felt like starting a conversation with you," he winked, before turning and leaving me bewildered. I sat staring as he escorted his brother to the bathroom. As far as I'd known about the Jonas Brothers, Nick was the shy, timid one - what an illusory boy.

"What was that about?" Carrie asked, envy yet at the same time amusement was clear in her throat.

"No... no idea," I kept my eye on the men's bathroom - a little creepy, I know.

A minute or so passed before the two walked back through the door, Nick's eyes on me, wearing the same smirk, while his little brother had a face of relief. I laughed - I wore that same expression often. His brother took his exact same seat, now playing with some sort of electronic, while the older strutted in my direction, picking up the coffee cup that sat on the table. I quickly looked down, pretending to be caught up in something work-related.

"Saw that," he had a look as though he was solely the meaning of life. I glared.

"Awesome," I said, meeting his gaze. He was slightly taken aback by my response, before returning to his 'I am Omega' attitude.

"So, I actually came over here to ask you something," I rolled my eyes. Do you want me to get you some iced tea, your highness?

"Want some coffee?" He stretched his hand out at me, a smile on his face. What was he, sixteen, and he drank his coffee _black_? Ew...

"No thanks," I held my hands up as though surrendering, before feeling hot coffee on my left shoulder. "_Damnit_!" I screamed, the scalding liquid burning through the fabric of my blazer leaving an obvious stain. I put my hands to unbutton, before realizing it was my cover. I winced, before sitting back down as though I was not in pain.

"Crap, oh God. Oh my _God_. I am so sorry, I thought you were taking the coffee. Crap, crap, crap..." Nick babbled for a few seconds before giving me an odd expression. "Isn't that burning you?" I shook my head no, heavily focusing on appearing okay.

"Yes it is, I can see it in your face," Damnit. "Take off your blazer, I'll get you something else," He walked around the desk, now standing right next to me, arms crossed.

"It-it's cold, if I take it off I'll freeze to death," I sighed, the pain in my shoulder now drifting to my entire body.

He rolled his eyes, looking at my face, "Riiight. Just take it off, I'll give you my sweater if you're really that cold." I stared at him angrily, before realizing he wasn't backing down. Sighing - which I'd done an awful lot today - I slipped off the blazer and handed it to him.

"Holy shit! Your entire shoulder's red, hang on," He power-walked to the men's bathroom, then walked back out just as quick, damp paper towels at hand. What's that gonna do, clean the coffee off my skin?

"Carrie, can you get some ice?" Nick looked at her, pleading, before kneeling down next to me. I heard Carrie grumbling before returning with a cup. "Thanks," he said, laying the damp cloth out and pouring a few ice blocks on it. Pressing the now wrapped ice gently to my shoulder, he looked back at me. I inhaled sharply, pained. "Sorry," he mumbled, before lifting the cold-press and blowing kindly on my shoulder. He smiled at me, "So I'm taking it you don't like coffee," I laughed a little. "No, I don't." He pressed the towel back to my skin for a minute or so, before stopping.

"What's this from?" He asked, concerned. I stared at him, my mouth in awe, unsure of how to respond.

"I bumped into the door as I walked in?" I answered him timidly, and looked down at the floor.

"Tegan, you _don't _get a bruise like this from walking into a door," his eyes were hard, but filled with worry.

What was I supposed to tell him?

* * *

**Wow, I hate the way I'm executing my idea. It sounded really good in my head. To all two of you that actually read this and the first chapter, I'm unsure if I want to continue this. But I'm very indecisive so you never know.**

**Review anyway. (:**


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